


Things have changed for me, and that's okay.

by sallowsunflowers



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Clowns, Flashbacks, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, reference to canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 07:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15310434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallowsunflowers/pseuds/sallowsunflowers
Summary: The dreambubbles are an awfully big place, but they've got each other.





	Things have changed for me, and that's okay.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [escaflowery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaflowery/gifts).



> For the lovely Elle
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this, you've pulled me into this ship :0  
> Hope you enjoy!

The cave was dim, lit only by beams of light shining through the holes in the roof that made the cave look like a skull from the outside. Only one voice, tinged with anger, could be heard.

“Tavros, what exactly are you trying to say?”

The bronzeblood shifted from foot to foot, stuttering for a second before replying.

“I think, the bottom line of that, is, I don’t want to be your poopmaster anymore, so I’m not going to be.”

His feet lifted off the ground and, giggling, he flew up towards one of the cave’s gaping eyesockets. Vriska called after him, the sound of her voice echoing through the cave in a cacophony of frustrated screeching.

“Where do you think you’re going?! Get back here! You can’t just fly away from me like that!!!!!!!!”

_ This was the moment to go _ , Sollux thought. He turned to Feferi and Nepeta, even though he couldn’t see them. The general unrest within the group was obvious, ditching the murder parade seemed like a good idea right now.

“hey tavr0s, wait up, i think i'm c0ming with y0u.”

\---

 

Tavros was still visible, flying off over the ghost-ocean. Feferi and Nepeta flew over, guiding Sollux, and called out in greeting.

“Hey, Tafurros! Wait up!” Nepeta yelled, speaking out loud for the first time since the ship. She and Feferi hadn’t needed to speak while there, after being sprited together they had just understood what the other was going to say or do, almost having entire conversations without ever speaking. The trio caught up with the waiting boy, who replied, “I know you were there, on the ship, but it feels right to say it’s good to see you again!”  
  


“So, what now? I didn’t really think, this far ahead.” asked Tavros, and the four of them pondered this for a few seconds, 

“Hmm, I don’t reely know! How about we just explore for a whale,” said Feferi, and that seemed a good idea as any.

They drifted off into the distance, looking for a change to the ocean scenery. There were patches of other planets, Derse, Prospit, LOHAC, but they seemed to contain nothing or no one interesting. As they wandered through a section of a land seemingly made of piles of gold and pools of deep, glittering water, the whole bubble shimmered and shifted as a strong memory interfered with the landscape. 

 

The world seemed to blur and as it took shape again it started to form into a sinister shape, that of a carnival.

The tent doors waved slowly in the nonexistent breeze. The whole place was eerily silent, with not a ghost in sight. The whole place stank of sugar and greasepaint, a smell they were all familiar with after spending time cooped up on the meteor with a certain purpleblood.

A faint honk sounded in the distance, and Nepeta's head whipped around so fast the others thought for a second that she had been jerked back by an invisible force. The other three shared a nervous glance, and Sollux decided to speak.

"yeah, this place is bey0nd creepy. let's ditch this bubble." he said, taking one of Nepeta’s hands.

Feferi took Nepeta’s other hand as Tavros lead the way out of the bubble, floating as fast as they could through the maze of tents. The edge of the bubble came up fast, and they burst through into the next as a chorus of honks sounded from close behind them. The scene around them now was familiar to Tavros, the ground rolled in small hills, the grass was dark green, and to his left was a ginormous jagged cliff edge. In the midst of this landscape was was his hive, the blue windmill on top spinning leisurely in a non-existent breeze. Dragging the trolls behind him to the house, he opened the front door and let them into the living room.

The huntresses breathing was frantic, she was gulping shallow breaths and her eyes were wide open in panic. An ache was rising in her chest, suffocating her from the inside. A phantom pain jolted through her right wrist where it had been snapped minutes before her death, her death her death  _ Equius’s death, she couldn’t  _ save  _ him _ .

Feferi touched a cool hand to Nepeta’s upper arm, quietly asking permission to come closer. Nepeta leant into the touch, just wanting to disappear into her cool embrace. Feferi pulled her down onto a nearby couch, laying her in her lap curling her arms around the huntress. Sollux and Tavros took seat on each side of the two, snuggling into the tangle of arms and bodies. It was comforting, being surrounded by people who understood what it was like to die, to have things you loved ripped from you by the claws of fate.

"Hey, hey,, we’re not gonna pap you, but just, uh," Tavros shifted nervously, “We’re here for you, okay.”

She curled tighter into their arms, trembling slightly. The fear and anxiety and rage stirred up by the previous bubble was fading, but in its wake was a longing, aching emptiness. In that moment, she missed Equius more than ever before. Seemingly reading her mind, Feferi spoke up.

"Don't worry Nep we'll find him soon, you’ll sea. With our powers combined, there'll be no place in the outer ring left unsearched!"

The boys at her side nodded, and Nepeta felt slightly more at peace.

 

\---

 

After the carnival fiasco, Nepeta decided to take a walk around the bubble, to explore, channel her inner wildbeast and stalk in search of prey once more! Feferi had decided to come with, leaving the two boys at Tavros’s place. Wandering through the shallow hills, the girls came across a bubbling river, with crystal clear water that wound its way through the hills and into a nearby forest. Feferi’s ears pricked up, listening to the water, and what should have been the noisy sound of animals. But there were no animals here, only the dead. Moving away from that depressing subject, she grabbed Nepeta’s hand and lead her into the shade of the trees, following the water. As they got to a clearing, Nepeta stopped in her tracks.

"I know this purrlace! I used to come down here with Pounce and catch fish!" She gazed at the stream with a grin decorating her face. Oh, that was espeshelly pretty. The rogues canines poked over her lower lip, making little indents in it as the corners of her mouth slid up. That was unbelievably cute. A small part of Feferi's mind wandered to what it would be like to kiss those lips. Make that a large part. Oh dear, that was not something to think of a friend, especially someone with a well known flushcrush on another troll. Even if you had intimately experienced each other's thoughts, thinkpans twined around each other exploring the identity of Fefeta together. Even if you had, just a few hours ago, held her tight in your arms wanting to protect her from all harm, fight battles side by side and-

That was enough of that train of thought. Concentrate Feferi! She said she used to come here a lot, ask her about the place!

Nepeta turned, looking at the witch. She laughed, loud and boisterous and said

"D'aww, Fefurry, your fins are flicking all over the purrlace! You must be supurr excited to be back near water!"

Oh, oh cod, had she been fluttering at her? Thankfully Nepeta had misinterpreted the signal, understandable for someone who had only talked with seadwellers online instead of seeing them in person.

"Yeah, yeah acshoally!"

"C'mon, ameow me to show mew a deepaw spot where you could purrobably swim!"

 

After walking along the grassy edge of the water for some time, they reached a bend in the stream where the bank was lined with large rocks. The opposite bank sloped up sharply, it's rocky face dotted with grasses and one twisting tree with branches that dripped leaves over the pool. 

"OH MY COD, it's perchfect! Or shoald I say... purrfect." Feferi winked at Nepeta and giggled. 

She turned and clambered to the top of one of the rocks, arranging her sleek body into a streamlined shape and diving into the crystal clear water below. 

 

Nepeta watched in awe, admiring the way the heiress moved through air and water. She had the confident grace and agility of a strong and skilled hunter. Looking through the water she watched Feferi twist and turn under the surface and look around at the smooth stones that covered the riverbed in a carpet of greys.

Feferi tuned on her back and lay against the bottom of the pool, looking up at Nepeta through the water. Grinning, she kicked up towards the surface, hair streaming behind her and gold glinting in the light.

As she surfaced Nepeta leant closer to bring them face to face, and the two shared a moment of silence.

_ Oh dear _ , Nepeta thought,  _ I’ve nefur noticed how purretty her eyes are.  _ She gazed into the seadwellers eyes, which were dark grey, flecked with fushia like rock pierced with crystal.

 

“The water is reely nice you know, perchaps you shoald join me.” Feferi said.

Nepeta laughed slowly, glancing down at Feferi.

And with that, the heiress flung her arm up from the water, pulling Nepeta into the water with a loud splash.

 

\---

 

Back at the hive, Tavros looked over at the lounging goldblood apprehensively. They hadn’t talked much, in game or out, not knowing more than basic facts. The only time they had really been mixed up together was in the FLARP disaster that cost him his legs.

“S0,” Sollux said, turning his head to face Tavros, “what d0 y0u want t0 d0 while the girls are 0ut?”

He honestly didn’t know. His hive contained a few things that Sollux may or may not like, and the bronzeblood’s eyes flicked around the room, running a list through his head.

 

_ Books? No, perhaps not, as much as you love reading through your collection of fantasy stories they didn’t exactly make interesting conversation fodder OR a good joint activity. _

_ Fiduspawn? That, that might work! If there were any, in the afterlife, okay no. _

_ Card games? Hell yeah, lets get this show on the road. _

 

“Uh, I have some card games, if you wanted to play?” he stammered, trying not to look nervous and failing miserably.

“Hell yes. S0unds g00d TV, where c0uld I find a deck?”

Tavros pointed him over to the cabinet, letting Sollux chose one. He returned to the couch they had been sitting on and leant back against the arm, dealing out cards to a top trumps game. They played through a good few rounds, chatting and laughing once comfortable, Tavros winning three and Sollux winning two, which despite not having much of a connection to duality anymore still pleased him immensely. They fell into a comfortable silence, but as Tavros dealt the cards for a sixth time, Sollux looked him over and changed to topic from lighthearted chatting to something a little more serious. 

“C’m0n, it’s 0bvi0us that s0mething is 0n y0ur mind. Spill the beans.”

Tavros had been worrying at his fingernails for almost the whole game, despite having a good time it seemed to the mage that he was pushing some thought back.

Looking up at Sollux, Tavros flushed a little and looked to the side in embarrassment. Turning back, he said, “I think, I still want to do something to help our alive friends. I don’t, uh, want to murder lots of our friends in the process, but, we should do something,”

A quiet hum was all he got in response, the other boy obviously thinking for some kind of solution. Tavros had begun to notice that when Sollux was concentrating, or spacing out, the tip of his forked tongue would poke from between his oversized fangs. It was - in all honesty - pretty goddamn cute.

“Hmm, the 0nly thing i can think 0f t0 help them 0ut is t0 s0meh0w take 0ut 0ne 0f the many enemies they’ve racked up, and that’s what VK is doing.” He shuddered. “And n0t in a very g00d way.”

“Well, what if, we did what Vriska is doing? Just, instead of mind controlling people, we actually, uh, let them chose? If they chose, to fight, then maybe we’d get a better result when they fight him? I mean, maybe the juju will take care of him right away, but we don't know that, and if she has backup, maybe we’ll win?” said Tavros. Yeah, actually. That was something they could do! It would also give the ghosts some purpose, they hadn’t been here for very long and already it felt like an endless, useless eternity. It wouldn’t take much to convince the ghosts.

“I think y0u’re 0n t0 s0mething there TV. We’ll wait f0r the girls t0 get back and then we can talk it 0ver. In the meantime, y0u still up for an0ther r0und?” Sollux said, looking up and quirking one eyebrow challenginly.

“Definately.”

 

Time flew by, and soon enough the girls had returned, still wet from their dip in the river. They were informed of the new plan, and together the four set out to the next bubble.

 

\---

 

Tavros sighed gently, surveying the ghosts of the bubble, a fusion between Derse and one of the dancestors planets.

“Look,, uh, what I’m saying is that we know what Vriska (and Aranea, but that’s beside the point,) tried to pull is a really terrible thing to do. But we can still help our friends. If we just, work together and, uh, be confident, we can beat him! Instead of being bait, we can be a team!”

A murmur went through the crowd, heads generally nodding and faces trained on Tavros’s, waiting for the end of his speech. He glanced back at the other three, and they gave him a variety of thumbs up of reassuring smiles. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the crowd.

 

“So here’s all you have to do…”

 

More and more ghosts have started following their lead, spreading word of the mission as they go creating an ever expanding force. The growing army was making its way across the bubbles, going along based on the direction that felt right, and avoiding the cracks where they could. Leading an army was easier than Tavros had thought, especially because he got them motivated to join and go forward as their own decision, for their own reasons. The pressure to succeed was still there though, and the thought that his whole plan may come crashing down around his pointy ears loomed above his head. This was why, in the lead-up to the end, he spent a lot of time in a pile with his quads.

 

“I just,, what if we can’t do it? What if we just, waste away here, having done nothing?” he said, picking nervously at his nails. Feferi's cool hands cradle his face as Nepeta's arms snake around his chest. Sollux picks the three up with a crackle of red and blue energy and levitates them over to the pile of furs and fiduspawn hosts. Tavros settles against his chest, feeling the scratchy purr emanating from the mage. Sollux brought his hands to his face, before moving up and carding through his hair.

“We’ll be fin, guppy. Nofin has gone wrong so far, and nothing says that it will! You’re going great, you’ve raised this big army and have them moving together without a hitch! Shh, there’s nothing to worry aboat.” Feferi murmurs in his ear, petting her hands along his shoulders. With a few mumbled thanks, Tavros starts to doze, and the other three soon joined him, breathing slowing as they fell asleep

 

\---

 

The now large army was gathering in a large, flat bubble at the edge of the flashing cracks in the universe. Tavros moved on to speak with Vriska and Meenah, handing over the army when they were interrupted by a loud crashing noise. The time had come.

Vriska strode further down the plain, carrying the red juju in her hands. The army fell in step behind her, a mass of trolls all marching towards the one who could end them all for good. Our four heroes were towards the front, Tavros marching forward with lance in hand, Feferi wielding her 2x3dent, Sollux’s psionics crackling around his horns and fingers, Nepeta with her her long blue claws held out in front of her. Dust swirled around their feet with every fateful step, stirring up a smell of earth that clogged their noses.

In the distance, standing framed by the glow of the cracks in the universes was Lord English. His eyes flashed wildly before settling on the 8BALL. He took a step forward, golden pegleg impacting with the dusty ground with a crunch.

 

Stopping in front of the Lord of Time, Vriska tipped her head back and laughed. Her hands cracked open the box, and she looked back up at English, a malicious grin splitting her face. A blast of wind whipped the dust up into the air behind her, and a tower of light erupted from the juju, forming a pure white logo of SBURB, which crashed to the ground in another flurry of dust.

Four figures burst from the logo, burning a brilliant white so blinding it was hard to make out who they were. Darting around LE in a tornado of intense light, swirling up with furious noise of wind, gunshots, the clang of swords and blasts of energy.

A flash, a howling, gut-wrenching screech, and they were gone. The juju flickered out of existence, and all that was left to see was the black hole in the distance where the green sun once was.

 

Said black hole was drawing them closer, sucking them further towards the break in the universe.

 

The four trolls who had grown so dear to one another clung to a large boulder at the edge of the battlefield, grasping at each other’s hands in an attempt to keep steady as pieces of the outer ring collapse inwards. A chunk in front of them breaks away and flies into the void. They’re struggling to hold on, especially the weakened members of the group. The air carried a collection of horrific noise, desperate screams and thunderous booms of crumbling terrain.

The boulder cracks down the centre with a loud crunching noise, adding to the sounds of chaos that beat against their ears.

“FEFERI!”

Three sets of hands reached for her, trying to hold on to the heiress and keep her with them out of the storm which was threatening to tear her from their grasp.

But the lovers were fighting against an immense pull, and no hold could last forever against its might. Tears poured from their faces as Feferi slipped further.

“ _ I love you! _ ” She screamed over the storm, and slipped from their hold.

 

\---

 

Everything was dark and they were surrounded by crushing blackness that felt as if it were invading their lungs with every breath, pouring around their mouths, eyes, limbs, pressing and shifting against their skin. A green epicycloid appears, twitching and sliding between different shapes as it grows larger and they slip through the centre.

 

\---

 

The sun shone on rolling green hills, the sky bright blue and filled with fluffy white clouds. A perfectly generic day. The winners of the game stand atop one of the hills, enjoying the breeze and surveying the land that they had worked so hard for, surveying the conclusion to their journey of pain, growth, waiting, hard-fought battles, friendship and determination. They were happy indeed, laughing and embracing, and although some of them may deny it there were many tears of pure joy wept that day. But the players had one event left in store, one that would bring them even greater happiness. The familiar shifting shape that was visible on the loading screens of sburb opened above them in the sky, hovering perhaps 10 feet in the air. And out from that shape tumbled a familiar figure, that of Feferi Peixes, ex-Heiress to the throne of Alternia.

 

Standing up to her full height, she looked around confusedly, taking in the sight of her friends along with several others whom she had only met on occasion in the bubbles.

The gathered crowd simply stares in shock, before Karkat, wonderful angry shouting Karkat, pipes up with, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME, ARE YOU FUCKING-” and doesn’t get much more out before being tackled to the ground by a hissing Captor falling from the sky.

 

More and more portals opened, as everyone whos ghost had been sucked into the black hole was ejected into the new world. Tavros was then next of our protagonists to appear, who was caught in Feferi’s arms before he hit the ground. He blushed deeply, his whole face flushing from the tips of his ears down his neck while she laughed fully and set him down on his own two feet. Sollux, having extracted himself from a long embrace with Karkat, came over to join them and wait for Nepeta. And they didn’t have to wait long, as the portals were opening at about thirty second intervals. Soon enough a familiar blur of olive green tumbled down, landing on two feet and staring around, eyes landing on the trio. Bounding over, she enveloped the three of them in a hug before pulling back and looking around again, a look of panic quickly flashing over her face.

 

“Where?! Where iS HE? WHERE IS MY MOIRAIL?” And trace of Nepeta’s usual light, playful expression was gone, a loud growl tearing from her throat. Tavros stepped towards her, but she snapped at him and leapt back.

“If we are here, he should be too! I need-” 

She continued her anxious babbling, not noticing a figure fall from the sky behind her until he rushed to her side. Equius put a hand on her shoulder, and Nepeta shrieked, jumping in surprise. Turning her head, she saw the familiar figure of her moirail, the one who had been killed before her eyes, the one who had been lost to her, and was now found.

With lightning quick movement she leapt, and tackled him to the ground in joy, their joined purring reverberating through the air.

After the chaotic re-meeting, the joining of old friends and new, the four content trolls finally got a moment to themselves. Sollux, in particular, was perhaps as happy as he had ever been. But one thought in the back of his mind still nagged him. Coughing quitely, he spoke up.

 

“listen, guys, this is cliche as fuck i kn0w but what exactly are we? i mean, at the m0ment it seems t0 be just a giant clusterfuck of quads, are we all g00d with that?” His quadmates (Matesprits? Moirails? Kismesis? The web of their relationships was difficult to visualise, so quadmates sounded good for now) blinked back at him, thinking about the question.

“You know what this calls fur? A shipping chart!” Nepeta pulled a sketchbook and pencil out of her sylladex. They had discovered that when they were revived, they got back any items they had on them at the time of their deaths. Weird, but not one of the strangest things that had happened over the course of their journeys.

 

Under a heart, she put Feferi + Sollux, Feferi + herself, and Tavros + Feferi.

Beneath a diamond, she drew the famed meowrails and Tavros + Sollux.

A spade, herself and Sollux.

A club was drawn, but nothing was put beneath it except for a few question marks and a smiley face with two familiar mouths.

 

Equius and Aradia wandered up the hill and joined them on the grass, having just removed themselves from a good natured argument with their nubby-horned leader.

 

Nepeta continued to scribble, adding a heart/spade, and below it started drawing two familiar faces, one with a single horn pointed like an arrow and one with curled ram horns. Equius blushed furiously and put a hand on her wrist, saying

“Nepeta, I do not think that this is necessary-”   
“Of pawse it is, you big dummy!”

As the familiar playful yes no argument started, the goldblood knew that even if everything wasn’t great great all the time, they’d push though it together and come out on top. It was a completely sappy feeling, one destined for silly romance movies and books, but he couldn’t help liking it.

 

**⇒ Epilogue**

 

Having six trolls share one hive could be chaotic at times. When who was living where was being sorted out, the four trolls who had fallen horns over heels for each other had decided to live together, along with Aradia. Equius technically lived in the adjacent hive, but as he spent so many days and nights with them he practically moved in. Mealtimes were especially wild, the dining table full of chatter and clanging cutlery. 

 

But despite the chaos,  it had its benefits. Many a lazy afternoon was spent enjoying each others company, falling asleep together in a giant heap. Mornings started early for some, Nepeta out before dawn on a trip through the surrounding woods, hunting creatures and watching the sunrise from the treetops before returning home to greet her waking quadmates. Feferi was also an early riser, often leaving for a morning swim. Others awoke slowly, still wrapped around one another.

 

This particular morning had already seen the occupants of the hive awaken and have breakfast, none of the trolls particularly felt like going out and the day was looking to be another of peace and quiet, well, as peaceful as six trolls can be. 

 

Tavros and Sollux were playing video games together in the living room, Nepeta was sitting cross legged on the couch braiding Feferi’s hair, Aradia was reading a book in an armchair by the large window and Equius was outside in the workshop.

 

Sollux won the round of whatever the boys were playing and threw up his arms with a shout of celebration. A cushion flew through the air and smacked him right in the back of the head. As he heard Nepeta’s loud cackle from behind him he knew exactly who had thrown it.

He whipped around and glared at his kismesis.

“0h it’s  _ s0 _ 0n.” he hissed, and threw the cushion right back. 

It missed, and instead of hitting Nepeta it smacked Feferi on the horns. Though because the seadweller was sitting in front of Nepeta on the floor it would pretty hard to not hit her horns, because after her first moult they had grown a good handspan and a half.

 

Feferi giggled, and pulled the pillow that she had wedged between her and the couch from behind her back and lobbed it at him.

“You’ve messed with the wrong gills! As, you said, it’s  _ ON!! _ ”

 

“sEEING AS, uH,, iT’S NOW TWO AGAINST ONE, iT MAKES SENSE FOR ME TO JOIN SOLLUX’S TEAM.” He grinned. “wE’LL SEE WHO’S THE BEST, aT PILLOW WARS IN THIS HIVE!”

 

“Prepare to lose then!” Nepeta shrieked, and the girls scampered off into another room. 

“C’mon, let’s go find Equihiss, with him on our side we’ll never lose!” 

“Too right!” 

And so commenced one of the sickest high fives in all of paradox space.

 

\---

 

“AA, can y0u j0in 0ur team? I bet NP’s 0ff t0 get EQ, 3 v 2 is cheating.”

She grinned, red painted lips turning upwards a little too far to be considered pleasant by some.

“Did you think I would miss a pillow war? Not a chance. I’m in, Team Charge is back together, now with a cute +1!”

 

The lowblood team’s fort had taken residence in the hallway joining the dining room and living room, closing off the ablutionblock off from the other team. Couch cushions had been stacked at either end of the hallway, and a sheet was hovering above the fort to prevent attacks from above, covered in a soft white glow that indicated that Aradia was holding it up with her psionics. Inside the fort were stacks of soft ammunition and in the centre there was a second box of couch cushions encasing the open door to the ablutionblock that served as headquarters for the team.

 

Team Supurr Pawsome Cuttlefish had built their fort in the living room. The couches that had been stripped of their cushions used as a protective barrier spanning from wall to wall, trapping the opposite team inside the hive. 

 

Nepeta popped her head up over the battlements of her fort, addressing the one opposite. “It is the dawn of the fateful battle, and the mighty huntress stalks along the wall of her castle, surveying the enemy base and checking her own supplies! Alongside her meowrail of famed strength and her dashing, furrocious matesprit, she thinks to herself that her team will nefur lose!”

 

A loud “We’ll see about that!” came from the lowblood fort, and Tavros appeared, grinning wildly with a pillow in hand.

 

What followed was known from then on as the first Great Pillow War of Earth C, a vicious battle ended by the superior force of cuddles and the power of love.


End file.
